1. Will continued use of ‘sissy porn’ lead to an escalation in my porn diet?
There is no doubt that both psychological theory and common sense suggest that the constant use of a stimulant – be it visual, psychotropic or behavioral – will lead to sensitization i.e. it will stop working unless you use a higher dose.
Therefore, while a simple pair of breasts might be enough to turn you on at 15…it doesn’t take long before you need all sorts of elaborate things and situations to achieve the same buzz. So, yes, escalation is inevitable.
However, there is a point where the extended use of porn leads to porn-exhaustion and the user looks elsewhere for stimulation. Not only does excessive porn use start to hollow you out emotionally, but it stops working. ALL OF IT! You see, the paradoxical end-point of porn (and its ultimate escalation) is that you start to want the sort of women (or men) that would never be in porn.
Here, there are a number of possibilities…
1. A return to vanilla sources i.e. beautiful celebrities. You may end up so jaded with porn that a simple photo of a beautiful girl turns you on more.
2. A deeper quest for real experience i.e. with real people. (hopefully, within the context of a loving relationship.)
3. A deeper quest for real life erotic experiences without direct contact: dressing in public etc.
2. Are there other factors apart from escalation that may lead my sexual fantasies to change over time?
Yes. These could be…
a. Contextual: e.g. if you get married.
This adds an extra dimension.. Obviously, fantasies will now include the sexual partner you have taken into your life, but because you’re a crossdreamer it’s likely these fantasies will start to veer into the kinky e.g. watching her with a ‘real man’ or requiring her to wear the sort of clothes that turn you on.
While marriage can certainly lead to periods of reduction in sissy porn and crossdreamer fantasies, they can not extinguish them. The most important thing here is not to become selfish and start abandoning your partner sexually to spend all your time on porn sites.
b. Gender related: You might find that as you get older your desire to play a female role was actually a prelude to a much deeper desire. When this happens it is hard to be interested anymore in kinks like ‘forced feminization’ or ‘sissification.’ Sexual fantasies start out with you already being female and sissy porn completely turns you off.
3. Does crossdressing always escalate into something more?
Maybe…Maybe not. Everybody is different, therefore you should avoid generalizations about ‘the slippery slope.’
Personally, I stopped girl-dressing when I got deep into puberty because I didn’t look like a girl anymore. Ever since, despite being turned on by the concept of dressing like a woman, the reality of being a man dressed as a woman turns me off.
The remedy, I suppose, would be some amazing boutique where the level of grooming was so deep (total body hair removal, padding in the right places etc.) that the results would be satisfactorily feminine. However, even if such a place existed, I wouldn’t be bothered to invest so much time and money on it.
I don’t know whether I’m just lazy or not as commited as others, but I’m quite happy to keep all my feminine desires in my head. I’d be interested to hear from others who have intense crossdreaming fantasies but don’t need to realise them in the external world (or maybe we’re just repressed!)
4. If my principal sexual fantasy is about being a woman…will I eventually go fucking crazy that I can’t ever live out my fantasies?
If you develop the strong desire to be a woman – even if it’s purely sexual – there will be a psychological cost for not achieving that (the reason is connected to evolutionary biology and too long to explain here.)
Many of us in the community (those who actively contribute to the forum etc.) choose not to ‘transition’ because we feel that the unsatisfactory results of such a transition would make us even unhappier.
Dealing with the fact you will never fulfill your sexual and emotional fantasies is hard work. I deal with it in my book, How to Jedi-Mindtrick your Gender Dysphoria. There are three main methods…
Negative Denial: this usually involves the complete denigration of your desire into a sordid fetish. The person tells themselves that it’s all a ‘paraphilia’ and to be ignored.
Alot of YouTubers and bloggers who vigorously espouse autogynephilia (and other fetish theories) are actually autogynephiliacs in denial…or autogynephiliacs in denial about being transgender. This would be ok…but they always have to aggresively hoist their ideas onto the rest of us in order to reinforce their denial.
Positive Denial: this involves maintaining a belief that somehow, one day, you will make it to womanhood (even though you know deep down that you won’t). You subconsciously keep the door open, despite what your rational mind tells you.
Partial transition: The introduction of partial realisation, such as girl-dressing and light hormonal modification.
5. Why do some people have sissy porn fantasies and swear they don’t want to be a woman…but later go full-blown transgender?
It is a complete fiction that transgender people ‘always knew’ they were transgender. People who always knew they were a different gender are ‘early-onset transsexuals’ (excuse the clumsy term but it’s the best we have). Most crossdreamers are ‘late-onset’ and only come to understand their desire in their teens/twenties/middle age. They start off with a sexual desire to be feminine and presume it’s all just a sexual kink…UNTIL IT ISN’T! (And there’s literally no warning!)
The interesting question is why does it take them time to realise this? There are 3 possibilities…
a. They suppressed the desire.
b. The desire developed (a kind of internal logic of escalation where pretending to be a woman wasn’t enough and they had to be a woman.)
c. Crossdreamer sexuality requires a type of self consciousness to become fully developed (harder to explain but you can have certain sexual preferences and not be fully aware of them until later in life.)
6. How should I view my dirtiest fantasies?
You’ve probably asked yourself: Who’s the real me? The sissy in my fantasies or the guy who feels ashamed afterwards?
In my book, ‘The Science and art of Transgender Erotica,’ I included two different stories – one by Elle Mesen and one by Anna Kamari – because they brilliantly captured the two types of fantasy most people have: vanilla on one side…and…chocolate chip with raisins that fell on the floor and started to drip, got licked up by the dog, and then put back in the bowl…on the other.
Anna’s is a nice tale about a young guy who wants to be a female flight attendant, the other is about a debauched sissy who’s forced to suck lots of men in a glory hole and ends up covered in sperm.
The latter type of fantasy is unlikely to make you feel proud of yourself once you’ve reached climax…but it’s equally unlikely you will ever expunge the need to go to the darkside from time to time. I have never met anyone – hetero, gay or crossdreamer – who didn’t have some fantasies of the chocolate chip variety.
Realising that darker fantasies are a common feature of the majority of the population should make you understand that yours are normal.
To conclude: the real you is the sum of your experience…all your experiences. (However, make sure you have regular breaks from porn.)
7. Why do I want to be a woman when I’m horny but then later I don’t?
This is a variant of the above question.
When sexually excited – or just daydreaming – it may seem absolutely clear to you that you want to be a woman or that you are a woman. Later in the day, however, that may seem bizarre and you don’t want to be a woman at all.
This binary desire is hard to interpret. It seems obvious that your desire is purely sexual, but then you will be able to find other moments where the desire wasn’t sexual. Even if you can’t find moments that aren’t sexual, however, you’ll never know if the day to day you is not working beneath a suppression mechanism.
The most obvious answer to this dualism is that you are conflicted. Seek professional help…or at least start researching transgender psychology versus sexological interpretations.