Step 10 of the Fusion Program: Do what you always wanted to do
Your deeper female self is angry. She feels short changed. There you are with a career… but she wasn’t allowed to take part in the debate about choosing that career.
Now, if you are fortunate enough to have a job which you absolutely love, and your deeper female self is happy with that, then you can skip this section. If you do not like your job, however, or even if it’s just – ‘okay… more or less,’ – well, your deeper female self simply isn’t going to accept that. Why the hell should she have to do a bum job because your stupid male self made some bad choices? Sorry, but it’s time to change careers!
Before you read on, you should know that I’m firmly opposed to pie in the sky ‘just follow your dream’ philosophies, so when I say you need to change career, I do so, knowing just how hard that is. In fact, you may say that isn’t just ‘hard,’ it’s ‘impossible.’ However, while I don’t believe in ‘just follow your dream’ ideas, I do believe in the ‘nothing is impossible’ theory… as long as you have the right plan and the right strategy.
But before we talk about that… let’s just examine why you have to do this…
Your job constitutes approximately 75% of your day… 5 days a week. Therefore, if your job is fabulous and filled with fabulous people then you get to be fabulous 75% of the day 5 days a week. If your job sucks, however, then you get to suck 75% of the day 5 days a week. This means that because your career dictates the quality of a significant portion of your life experience, it is an important variable in mental health. Even if your martyr of a male self is prepared to screw with that mental health via a job that sucks, your deeper female self certainly won’t. In fact, it’s inhumane to expect her to, and there will be consequences for forcing her to accept this career.
She will go on strike and recede into the background because she only settles for the best, and when she recedes, who is going to come to the foreground? Our old friend – the glamourpuss, with her tired old soloution to all your problems: gender change.You have no choice, therefore, you must change job…
…But you have to be smart about it.
How to change careers is a subject I deal with in another seminar but I will summarise the main points here. Being smart means…
- Minimising your risk. For example, you don’t suddenly give up your job and start writing a novel… with no idea how you are going to pay the mortgage. Unless you are very young you cannot risk everything on a project which may not pay.
- You must have an incredibly detailed plan of what you are going to do.
- Be realistic: maybe you want to work in the movie business, but if you can’t then settle for something in a related field. For example, if you are a cleaner who wants to be in the movie business, well, get a job cleaning on a movie set… or even in a cinema… at least you will be closer to what you love.
One final point I would like to make is related to the step on toxic people versus got-it people. Often with careers you have to think not only of the job itself but who your colleagues will be. We spend a significant portion of our lives at work, so even if a job is interesting you might have to think twice about it if it is solitary or involves dealing with unpleasant or boring people. Your ideal job should involve constant contact with people who excite you and engage you and bring the best out of you.
